this is my website

Howdy. Thanks for dropping by.

If you happen to be in a band, and you found this page by Googling your own name or some such thing, I solemnly advise you to run away, as far and as fast as you can. This, for you, is one of the deep, dark corners of the Internet where strangeness beyond your comprehension lurks; and should you continue, you are likely to find depictions of yourself (or people you know well) doing things you would never dream of doing, to people you wouldn't imagine touching that way with a ten-meter cattleprod. This, my friend, is the kind of erotica women enjoy, the same way boys like to watch videos of hot girl-on-girl action, and you are bound to find it inexplicable and more than a little distressing.

You Have Been Warned. Proceed At Your Own Risk.

I am Random Epiphany. I call myself that because my whole life has been one great big random epiphany of chaotic happenstance, and I couldn't be more delighted about that.

I was born and raised in New York City, though Atlanta is my home now. I am tattooed, strangely and multiply and with great enthusiasm. I have been writing fan fiction for longer than some of my readers have been alive. When I was younger, I used to follow rock bands, as long and hard and far as I could; and even now, being on the road feels like home. I drive a fifteen-year-old car covered with bumperstickers and band logo decals, my wardrobe of choice consists of weird t-shirts and jeans and multicolored sneakers, and my idea of suitable decor for living space hasn't changed since I was fifteen. There was once a time in my life when I got paid to wear greasepaint; there was a time when I lived on New York City subway trains, by choice. I enjoy spending money on ridiculous and frivolous things, and I have enough available credit at my disposal to present a serious danger to myself. I am enamored of food. I believe that spelling counts. In my current incarnation, I am a web geek, shaping code into tangible form for fun; my sole cohabitant and/or dependent is my kitty, to whom I coo and babble in baby talk incessantly; and my favorite place to hang out is inside my own head, during the periods of time when I'm not crawling inside other people's. In 2005, I managed to triumph over a long, long pattern of addiction, and have been drug-free ever since if you don't count the pharmaceutical legal stuff that keeps me sane and alive. I never do in teaspoons what I can do in buckets, I'm neither afraid to laugh out loud nor at myself, and while I embrace the occasional fitful spasms of maturity and wisdom that drift my way, I absolutely, completely, utterly refuse to get old. I firmly believe that a hand-held shower sprayer is the single most useful object that a woman can possess. I like my music loud and passionate, my coffee light and sweet, my cigarettes in menthol 100s, and all of those items in abundance; and I think that getting feedback for the things I've written is the most incredible thing in the world. I remain convinced that life is a glorious, fantastic adventure, even when it's kind of not: and I am basically, pretty much, really happy about the one I've got.

And oh, yeah, I write fan fiction about rock bands. You can find it here.

And that's pretty much all you need to know.